Practical Steps on How to Prepare your child for the Gender Debate

A follow up to my article with specific and practical steps to immunize your kids for the gender craze

First, some catching up: It has been a while since I posted anything in this substack, mainly because life has been hectic around here, the hours and minutes of the day go by quickly with small children, and before I know it, two months have passed. I’m sorry for the delay to anyone waiting for a follow-up article. Thank you for your patience and for sticking around, I’m so glad to have you here.

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A few weeks ago, I wrote an article for Colin Wright’s substack Reality’s Last Stand, on how to prepare children to deal with the gender ideology, you can read the full article here, it will give you a better context. In that article, I present the reasons why you as the parent are precisely the right person to address this issue with your children and I want to give you some examples and tips on how you can approach the situation with specific steps to immunize and empower your child against the gender fervor permeating so much of society.

Recognize Relativism - The concept that there is no such thing as “The Truth” or that there is no right or wrong, but only different ways of looking at it. The commonly used “I’m just living my truth” or “you do you, I do me”, are all outgrowths of the assumption that there is no universal truth and the truth varies according to the context or person living it. All of the previous examples, fall under the umbrella of some degree of moral relativism, but we’ve been so exposed to it, that we don’t even recognize it anymore.

If you or your family adhere to the “living my truth” mantra, maybe unwillingly or unconsciously, allow me to point out that the current gender craze is an offshoot of moral relativism, and it would not have become what it is today had it not been given the proper conditions to flourish.

When having these conversations with your children and teenagers, ask them sincere questions that follow their own logic up to its conclusion. Engage in the conversations with a loving heart and not with a “gotcha” attitude or trying to win an argument, remember that it will probably take a few conversations for them to see the big picture and they will need time to absorb and process what you’ve told them.

Explain to your children that no one is entitled to their own truth and that there is indeed an objective truth - otherwise, why would we think it’s wrong for women to be beaten up in some middle eastern countries for not wearing their veil or getting a divorce? After all, it’s their culture, if there is no objective truth, we can’t say that this is wrong because relative to their country and culture it may be acceptable and common.

Relativism makes it almost impossible for someone to be wrong since there is no truth beyond our individual belief system - Most people will not think their own beliefs to be wrong or mistaken. Who would want to live in that dystopian society where we are all correct every time? It also destroys the borders of what is true and what is merely a belief - how would we know which is what? Can a judicial system ever function in a society that does not distinguish objective truth from personal belief and that constantly conflates one and the other? Follow the natural consequences of relativism with your child and exemplify possible consequences that they can understand.

Exercise Discernment - The ability to exercise good judgment, to separate the good from the bad is a quality that can be taught even from a young age using something as simple as food. Here’s an example of a conversation prompt for young children:

“Being able to discern is a lot like having a plate of food in front of you. You look at the food on the plate before choosing which ones are good for you and which ones to say no to. Some foods can look delicious on the outside, but then when you bite in, it tastes awful. This can happen with other things in life as well, sometimes terrible things are wrapped up in pretty packages, it can look perfect on the outside but be terrible on the inside and bad for you.”

This conversation is a great primer to developing an inquisitive mind and instinctively asking questions when presented with a new idea or concept. Practice discernment with your child in everyday situations, you can apply it to music and movies - Is there a song that has a good melody but has terrible lyrics? A movie that has cool characters but conveys a poor example of moral behavior? All of those are practical examples that help your child exercise and recognize the message and the package it is wrapped in. Gender ideology is wrapped up in a package of tolerance, respect for other people’s choices, and love. Still, it is anything but that - one needs only to read a few detransioners stories to see the enormity of the damage done to them.

Step Away from technology and Social Media - Besides the school environment, another major ignitor of gender confusion is social media and its reach is far greater than we imagine, constantly bombarding children and teens with an addictive algorithmic feed. I recognize it’s difficult for children and teens that already have a smartphone to have that taken away but in time they will adjust and come to recognize the harm they were rescued from. You do not have to ban smartphones forever, it can simply mean limiting screen time to 30 minutes per day, for example.

This will have to be a family commitment obviously, parents will also have to step away from technology and lead by example - imagine how your teen would feel if you took away his phone but then you were constantly online, it wouldn’t land well. A great book on this precise topic is Digital Detox - The Two-Week Tech Reset for Kids by Molly DeFrank, it has specific plans and tips on how to tackle each aspect of stepping away from technology while doing it with a common sense approach. A better alternative to smartphones that is growing in popularity is Gabb Wireless, which does not have social media but simply allows phone calls, text messages, and GPS.

Build Everlasting Bonds - Parents should not behave like children’s best friends, nor should that be our goal, nevertheless try to relate to what they are going through and listen attentively to them, they deserve our full attention and understanding. Our children will be immensely better served by a mom or dad who always welcomes them with open arms, and listen to what troubles them, even when at times it seems trivial and unimportant to us. Going away as a family for the weekend or a vacation, changing the routine, or even something as simple as watching movies or reading books together builds strong family bonds in an effortless way and your children will come to assimilate that mom or dad is the first person to resort to whenever they need to talk about something or have any questions. For more on this topic read “Hold on to Your Kids - Why Parents need to matter more than their peers” by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate.

Stay Rooted in Faith: Kids raised in religious families and faith-based communities are much better equipped to deal with gender ideology because their moral foundations are rooted in strong precepts that reside outside modern culture and therefore harder to be shaken by it. Relativism has almost no presence in most major religions, be it Christianity, Judaism, or Islam - They all have strong boundaries of what is morally wrong and morally right, and as a consequence kids rooted in faith have a lesser risk to fall prey to modern-day gender ideology. (This is not to say that secular or atheist families and kids are helpless prey, but instead that their religious counterparts have an advantage over them and are better equipped to deal with the gender craze and other modern-day obstacles).

Additional resources:

Mama Bear Apologetics - Empowering your kids to challenge cultural lies by Hillary Morgan Ferrer and Nancy Pearcey (This is a Christian book but its advice and tips are so solid that even if you are secular, you will still get plenty of practical and valuable guidance from it, I highly recommend it)

Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters by Abigail Shrier (Perhaps one of the most thorough analyses of the gender ideology. You can also search for her multiple interviews in podcasts.)

The fallacy Detective - This series has a textbook and a workbook, it is widely used by homeschool parents and kids and is well known for its emphasis on logic and reasoning. I think it can be a great resource for any child, regardless of what type of schooling they attend. Another book on reasoning and fallacies for kids is The Amazing Dr. Ransom’s Bestiary of Adorable Fallacies.

Disclaimer: None of the links are affiliates, I don’t gain anything from recommending them to you, just trying to save you some time. This article was prompted by the feedback I got from my initial article where some readers asked for additional resources. That was my intention when writing this second part, nevertheless, I hope you understand that what works for one family or kid, may not work for another - use your own judgment grounded in common sense, and be confident that no one will have your child’s best interest at heart the way you do.